Yes, THE Tonya Harding.
I was surfing web when I came across a familiar name: Tonya Harding. I'd heard the name before, and was somewhat familiar about what went down, but I decided that in order for me to know the truth, I had to go to the most trusted source I know: WikiPedia.
Allow me to refresh your memory about what happened:
During the 1994 U.S. Figure Skating Championships, my angel Tonya Harding had some tough competition. Competition by the name of, dun dun dun, Nancy Kerrigan. Tonya's ex-husband Jeff Gillooly (impressive last name) and her bodyguard paid a man to bash Nancy's knee. The hit was a success, just kidding. It wasn't a success because Nancy took that bruised knee straight to the Olympics. The guy who got paid, the ex-husband, the bodyguard, and the guy who drove the get-away vehicle (classic) all went to jail. But Tonya avoided the slammer by pleading guilty to conspiring to hinder prosecution of the attackers, whatever that means. The best part? Tonya was banned from the USFSA! Way to go, T-Hard! Not only is she a trouble-maker, but she's also completely insane, two of my favorite things! However, here's what I read that really won me over: In late 1996, Tonya used mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to help revive an 81 year old woman who collapsed while playing video poker in Portland, Oregon.
Tonya Harding is my hero.
Color Me Gone,
Zach the Maniac Hack Attack Wickety Wack
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